The Talk: Part One (The Prologue)

I sent Daylan a text message telling him that I wanted to have a talk with him whenever he got home from work. It's 10:33pm right now and I'm not expecting him home for another two hours. He asked me why and I told him I wanted to discuss last night. He then tried to call me, at work, knowing I am working a double and I had to tell him I would talk to him later.

I figure this is pretty much what I am going to say to him.

1. Your stamina sucks but we have to compromise on this. If we need to schedule time for sex, then that is what we have to do. Clearly your stamina isn't going to come back on it's own (because it sure as hell hasn't fixed itself the past few months). It's not that romantic, but it may be what we have to do.


2. No rushing it. No cumming within a few minutes. Quickie sex is not attractive. It's the main reason our sex life has been suffering lately.


3. It's time we start our own version of counselling. I have the book, The Love Dare, and I think it's a good idea we read it together and do the exercises in it. It's pretty much the pre-marital counselling I've been wanting. (Maybe this will help make the feelings stronger again).


4. We need to compromise on stuff to do together. Movies at the house clearly are not ways I want to interact and most of the talking we do now happens when we are in the car together. When you play games, I just go to facebook because I can interact with people there. The video games has been a cause for fighting a lot since I've moved out here. The promises never go through and I'm tired of it. I want us to do things together. Go for walks, read, talk, do stuff outside the house. 


5. Maybe it will help if I create some "coupons" for you to use. Kissing coupons or something. 


6. Stop groping and spanking me. I've been telling you for months to stop. It was cute in the beginning of the relationship, but a lot has changed in the past year and I don't want to be touched like that anymore. 

I don't know. I just know that this isn't working. I'm completely ok with us not having sex but he isn't. I'm ok with not kissing him (because it leads to sex) but he isn't. I also don't say "I love you" every five minutes of every day. I've never been that way. That phrase loses it's meaning if it's over-used. I know age 30 is supposed to be the peak of a woman's sexuality but that doesn't mean that her sex drive is supposed to be on high gear. I'd imagine I am at the age where the sex drive does begin to dwindle, but that the sex she is having (biologically) is more enjoyable. I am 28 and while that is still young, I don't see sex the same way I did when I was 21. It can be over-rated. Relationships based only on sex are sad because what happens when the sex stops? And who is to say the sex drive won't return?

Of course I am assuming I will still be awake by the time Daylan comes home.