Once again I am experiencing insomnia. It is 1:30 in the morning and I am hoping that my first yawn of the evening will give way to some sleep. I really hate being awake in the middle of the night. It isn't that I can't sleep, it's just that my sleep schedule is so strange lately. My body can't decide if it is tired or not. There are days that I am on the couch and realize that two hours disappeared and then there are days when I am tired at 11pm.
It is a shame that we can't just turn our minds and bodies off like a light switch. We flip them and our body gives us ten minutes till it shuts down. It is enough time to use the restroom, change, brush your teeth and hit the hay. In fact, that would work splendidly with children as well. Goodness, bedtimes would be so much easier in every house hold. Too bad I can't create that and patent it.
Maybe we should just have everyone watch poker every night before bed. It usually bores me to tears in the middle of the night, which is strange because I can watch it with Daylan around 10pm. I guess it is just more entertaining if Daylan is awake with me. It is never as fun watching it on tv (when you would rather play it with friends) and it is worse when you are watching it alone.
I just don't think it will work. Why? I'm too busy thinking "Too bad I'm not good at playing poker, or I'd be making money with it."
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Minor grocery store issues.
Today was the first time I went to the grocery store and was not happy with the purchases. We got a few great things at decent prices, but it didn't seem like everything added up. On top of that, I just didn't have enough good coupons so I left rather disappointed. I only saved a little over $6.00 which just seems pointless to me. I do understand that usually I get huge amounts on the "You saved" section because of the meat specials at Albertson's but this week was so weak.
A lot of the coupons out there are for processed foods or canned foods. That isn't exactly the healthiest way to go. What needs to happen is that it should be cheaper for healthy food. Isn't it weird that we can get burgers for $.99 and it still costs $6.99 for a small salad that won't even begin to fill your stomach? A milkshake is $.99 while juice is $2.99-$3.99. Hamburger Helper is 10 for $10 and it is filled with fat, sodium, cholesterol and calories. It is nothing but powder flavoring. Most deals, BOGO specials or coupons are for disgusting foods. I worked in a grocery store and it baffled me what would come off the carts and on my conveyor belt. I'm ashamed to say that I did it for a while as well. It was so much cheaper that way.
Now I am working on getting healthier foods and so far we are doing well. Daylan has grown accustomed to grabbing vegetables when we shop and he doesn't even look at the canned stuff. We still have some as a back up, but I've only had to use it once in a month. It was because I didn't have any peas for my beef stew. It just isn't as nice on the wallet. Why can't it just be cheaper to get healthy food?
America is allegedly the most obese country in the world and that really is not hard to believe. If you are a young and single person or a large family who is pretty much on poverty, it is easier to grab a burger than to eat fruits and vegetables. The temptation is there. We understand it very well but I always get on Daylan about us not eating fast food all the time. The only problem is if we really cut down on the price of fruits, vegetables, milks/cheeses and meat, then it will screw over the wrong people. The farmers aren't who we need to get angry at. I just think that junk food should cost more. A pack of Nabisco cookies should cost more than a salad.
I wish I could write the president a letter and know he would actually read it. In that letter I would propose that he not be so damn demanding about forcing health care upon people. If he just decreased the cost of healthy food and increased the cost of junk food, then people would eat better. If they ate better than they wouldn't be so sick nor so obese. Of course there are idiots out there, but the smart and sane people would follow through with it. If we raised more kids to eat healthy, then they would pass on those habits to their families. I just know that this isn't going to happen.
In the meantime, I will work on more coupons and hope that I am able to catch some really good deals. It's just a shame that more fruits and vegetables aren't on sale. I really should research when certain stuff is in season. Maybe one day I will perfect all of this.
Freganism, to a limit, is sounded better every day.
A lot of the coupons out there are for processed foods or canned foods. That isn't exactly the healthiest way to go. What needs to happen is that it should be cheaper for healthy food. Isn't it weird that we can get burgers for $.99 and it still costs $6.99 for a small salad that won't even begin to fill your stomach? A milkshake is $.99 while juice is $2.99-$3.99. Hamburger Helper is 10 for $10 and it is filled with fat, sodium, cholesterol and calories. It is nothing but powder flavoring. Most deals, BOGO specials or coupons are for disgusting foods. I worked in a grocery store and it baffled me what would come off the carts and on my conveyor belt. I'm ashamed to say that I did it for a while as well. It was so much cheaper that way.
Now I am working on getting healthier foods and so far we are doing well. Daylan has grown accustomed to grabbing vegetables when we shop and he doesn't even look at the canned stuff. We still have some as a back up, but I've only had to use it once in a month. It was because I didn't have any peas for my beef stew. It just isn't as nice on the wallet. Why can't it just be cheaper to get healthy food?
America is allegedly the most obese country in the world and that really is not hard to believe. If you are a young and single person or a large family who is pretty much on poverty, it is easier to grab a burger than to eat fruits and vegetables. The temptation is there. We understand it very well but I always get on Daylan about us not eating fast food all the time. The only problem is if we really cut down on the price of fruits, vegetables, milks/cheeses and meat, then it will screw over the wrong people. The farmers aren't who we need to get angry at. I just think that junk food should cost more. A pack of Nabisco cookies should cost more than a salad.
I wish I could write the president a letter and know he would actually read it. In that letter I would propose that he not be so damn demanding about forcing health care upon people. If he just decreased the cost of healthy food and increased the cost of junk food, then people would eat better. If they ate better than they wouldn't be so sick nor so obese. Of course there are idiots out there, but the smart and sane people would follow through with it. If we raised more kids to eat healthy, then they would pass on those habits to their families. I just know that this isn't going to happen.
In the meantime, I will work on more coupons and hope that I am able to catch some really good deals. It's just a shame that more fruits and vegetables aren't on sale. I really should research when certain stuff is in season. Maybe one day I will perfect all of this.
Freganism, to a limit, is sounded better every day.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Daydream
I want that perfect, story-book romance that makes everyone say "Ooooh" and "awww!". I want to be that couple body, mind and soul that makes everyone wish that they could be us. Not be us as in take one of us for their partner, but be us. I want to be Romeo and Juliet but without all the death. I want to be Rose and Jack (Titanic) without the catastrophe. Allie and Noah (The Notebook) without the memory loss. I want that Cinderella story where everything ends happily ever after.
It isn't true that true, unconditional and ever engulfing love ends in tragedy. How could it be true? If it were, then no one would get married. No one would even try. We would truly be the culture of casual sex. Well, more so than we are now. What we are now are the stupid generation that can't keep a marriage going. We would rather fight and separate than to fight to stay together. I fell into that statistic but I am learning. I went through my momentary bout where I didn't know anything but sadness and loneliness and I wanted to give up. But maturity and love don't allow people to just walk away unless they didn't have a reason to stay and fight.I want to have those moments in time where you are in a sunset and you kiss. You have a candlelit dinner and make love by the fire on the plush carpet. I want to be the couple that takes hot baths together or stares at the stars at night. Shoot, I want to be that perfect couple that does this and so much more to the point where others wish they could be us.
Our friends will see us together and wish they could have what we have. Family will feel happy that we each found what we were looking for and all those people who doubted us will shove it. They will realize that all that bad and negative energy that pushed our way has entered their lives instead.
We will be married soon. I don't know when but we will. Our engagement won't last forever ;). He will be a father soon. Of course I still want to wait a few more years to have my IUD taken out. Daylan and I will have a gorgeous wedding. Everything I want will happen. We will be who we want to be and in my head, that phrase will keep replaying over and over again. "Let's make them jealous" And a grin will come over my face with his hand in mine as I will say to myself, "Don't worry..."
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Maybe things will go according to plan!
There are lots of things I want in life, but one of the "items" at the top of my list is getting a job in Florida. The key to getting what you want, besides working for it, is to stay positive. Positive affirmations definitely keep you from doubting yourself and that is something that I have to work on. I only do it part time. It is impossible to only think positive things, but I need to go into myself and increase the percentage on positive thoughts.
I deserve a good job in Florida.
I will get a good job in Florida.
I deserve nothing less but a good job in Florida.
I keep going on to Craigslist to put in resumes. I usually don't get much more than the "Thank you for emailing your resume. It will be looked over by management so look forward to a phone call!". I know it is an automatic email sent out to whoever sends in a resume. I'm sure I could send a joke or a riddle and I would get that email in return. I'm sure those companies go through a lot of emails and read a lot of resumes, so I don't blame them for doing it. I just find it to be rather amusing that most of these emails go the same way. It just sucks when I think that I got an actual response about my resume. LOL!
Anyways, this is the game plan that I am hoping I can get. Of course I will be happy with a job, in general, but if I had everything my way then this is pretty much how it will go. I will get to have a normal day job 8-5 or 7-4. I would get at least $9.25 an hour. I would have Tuesdays and Thursdays off. The week day would be for whatever appointments I need. Doctor's appointments for Gabriel, or myself, car appointments etc. I would get 40 hours a week so before taxes, I would make $1480. Daylan would be living with me and working dayshifts as well. Gabriel would be with us at night and we work while he is in school. While Gabriel is at his Dad's for the weekends, I would work at a grocery store Friday and Saturday nights. I could use the extra money for savings and I would know when the good deals are going on in the store. Good deals plus coupons? Oh yeah. If he wanted to get a second job the same weekends, great. It's money we could use to save for the wedding. We have so much to save up for :). A house, a wedding, new vehicles, a honeymoon (whenever that will be ), college, a washer/dryer etc.
Yes, we would be busy but if we had the same days off (at least one of them) and still had the weekday nights off together, we would be better than ok. We could definitely afford something nice, but not over-priced. I could have a place with a dishwasher, washer/dryer hook-ups, a door with a peep-hole, screens over the windows, central heating/air conditioning and enough space in the kitchen to store food. Oh the simple things! I say this because I don't have ANY of that now. Yeah, this lake house is old and was not meant to literally be lived in.
They say money doesn't buy happiness, but it will at least pay the bills, keep you clothed, keep you fed, get you to your job and let you have a little fun. Like I said, there are a lot of things I want in life and I need money for almost all of it. Money may not be the main thing, but it sure funds the things I want in life. Whoever said that money doesn't buy happiness pretty much is a liar.
Yeah. A liar.
I deserve a good job in Florida.
I will get a good job in Florida.
I deserve nothing less but a good job in Florida.
I keep going on to Craigslist to put in resumes. I usually don't get much more than the "Thank you for emailing your resume. It will be looked over by management so look forward to a phone call!". I know it is an automatic email sent out to whoever sends in a resume. I'm sure I could send a joke or a riddle and I would get that email in return. I'm sure those companies go through a lot of emails and read a lot of resumes, so I don't blame them for doing it. I just find it to be rather amusing that most of these emails go the same way. It just sucks when I think that I got an actual response about my resume. LOL!
Anyways, this is the game plan that I am hoping I can get. Of course I will be happy with a job, in general, but if I had everything my way then this is pretty much how it will go. I will get to have a normal day job 8-5 or 7-4. I would get at least $9.25 an hour. I would have Tuesdays and Thursdays off. The week day would be for whatever appointments I need. Doctor's appointments for Gabriel, or myself, car appointments etc. I would get 40 hours a week so before taxes, I would make $1480. Daylan would be living with me and working dayshifts as well. Gabriel would be with us at night and we work while he is in school. While Gabriel is at his Dad's for the weekends, I would work at a grocery store Friday and Saturday nights. I could use the extra money for savings and I would know when the good deals are going on in the store. Good deals plus coupons? Oh yeah. If he wanted to get a second job the same weekends, great. It's money we could use to save for the wedding. We have so much to save up for :). A house, a wedding, new vehicles, a honeymoon (whenever that will be ), college, a washer/dryer etc.
Yes, we would be busy but if we had the same days off (at least one of them) and still had the weekday nights off together, we would be better than ok. We could definitely afford something nice, but not over-priced. I could have a place with a dishwasher, washer/dryer hook-ups, a door with a peep-hole, screens over the windows, central heating/air conditioning and enough space in the kitchen to store food. Oh the simple things! I say this because I don't have ANY of that now. Yeah, this lake house is old and was not meant to literally be lived in.
Yeah. A liar.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Here is the plan I proposed
On our way home from grocery shopping, Daylan brought up what was mentioned today at the manager's meeting. The boss' wife was complaining about how rude Daylan is (which I find to be interesting since it is brought up on the one meeting that Daylan wasn't able to attend). I really don't know what goes on in that store because I don't work there but he is constantly coming home complaining about how much the boss' wife pisses him off. When the boss is there, she follows the rules and works but he instant he leaves to go home, it seems as though the rules no longer apply to her and there wouldn't be any consequences for her actions. It would irritate me. Call me biased, but I believe him (and a friend of his who is also a manager) over her. I have no doubt in my mind that she is rude and yells at the crew and I have no doubt that she likes to take her frustrations out and yell at Daylan from time to time.
He mentioned that next Tuesday he may start looking for another job. He actually said that and so the thought occurred to me that he should start sending resumes in Fl and see if he can just move with me.
This option is so much better than the option of my moving to FL alone. I can see so many hurdles to jump over the first few months of being there alone. If he were to move with me, I wouldn't be limited to one city to live in for rides to work. Of course rent is cheaper in Val-P, but we could live in Niceville or Fort Walton Beach as well. I also wouldn't be so limited as to where to work even though pay tends to be higher in Destin. It would just be cheaper for us to move back together than to move me out there, fly back to TX, fly myself and Gabriel out for the week after Christmas, fly us back, have him come to his step-dad's retirement party, come back and then still fly to FL to pack me up and move me back to TX. Why not just move with me and save all that money? If he were to send resumes in FL, surely he would have a higher chance of being hired somewhere than me and if he gets something quick, then he could just pack up with me.
There are just so many opportunities. He could leave the drama his father and step-mother provide and just be with his mom and sister. He loves them and misses them dearly. He would also be around his nephews as they grow up. The added bonus is that two of his four best friends live within twenty minutes of where (hopefully) we would be moving to. Let's not forget how much cheaper it will be to just split everything down the middle rather than my pay for everything living on my own again. Oh and no more long distance relationships! A year was enough and I got fed up with it.
I told him "You never know. You may get a job that pays the same, if not more, and will give you the bonuses that they have been promising you and you would get two days off a week." If he wanted to do a part-time night shift being a bouncer, for example, he would be able to do it because his schedule would allow it. Who knows, he may not have to drive as far. I'm really working on wishful thinking here LOL.
Besides, there is more stuff to do in the smaller town I moved from than this area. There are more malls, more theaters, the beach, some touristy stuff and our friends are there. I could also hit up EC with some friends from time to time and he could have a boys night playing video games. I know I always complained about being bored when I lived there, but goodness there is even less here! I would miss Hastings (a lot) but really that is all we have/do here.
I am just hoping Daylan will see some logic in this and will start putting resumes out in FL. I mean what is the worst that can happen? No one responds and he just finds a job here instead? It would suck, and be more expensive for both of us, but I really want him to consider it. He doesn't want me to move away, and he has said this to a few people here, so why not remedy the situation and just move with me me. It isn't like he hangs out with anyone (ever) or that he sees his family anymore (because of the drama his father started with the rumors about me). I don't see what the big deal is other than the fact that it will be a hassle to pack and move. He is already going to be driving the rental truck to FL and using his vacation pay anyways. He might as well use it to pack and then have his quit date be after that.
Of course....it would be helpful if his friends and family tried to talk him into it ;)
He mentioned that next Tuesday he may start looking for another job. He actually said that and so the thought occurred to me that he should start sending resumes in Fl and see if he can just move with me.
This option is so much better than the option of my moving to FL alone. I can see so many hurdles to jump over the first few months of being there alone. If he were to move with me, I wouldn't be limited to one city to live in for rides to work. Of course rent is cheaper in Val-P, but we could live in Niceville or Fort Walton Beach as well. I also wouldn't be so limited as to where to work even though pay tends to be higher in Destin. It would just be cheaper for us to move back together than to move me out there, fly back to TX, fly myself and Gabriel out for the week after Christmas, fly us back, have him come to his step-dad's retirement party, come back and then still fly to FL to pack me up and move me back to TX. Why not just move with me and save all that money? If he were to send resumes in FL, surely he would have a higher chance of being hired somewhere than me and if he gets something quick, then he could just pack up with me.
There are just so many opportunities. He could leave the drama his father and step-mother provide and just be with his mom and sister. He loves them and misses them dearly. He would also be around his nephews as they grow up. The added bonus is that two of his four best friends live within twenty minutes of where (hopefully) we would be moving to. Let's not forget how much cheaper it will be to just split everything down the middle rather than my pay for everything living on my own again. Oh and no more long distance relationships! A year was enough and I got fed up with it.
I told him "You never know. You may get a job that pays the same, if not more, and will give you the bonuses that they have been promising you and you would get two days off a week." If he wanted to do a part-time night shift being a bouncer, for example, he would be able to do it because his schedule would allow it. Who knows, he may not have to drive as far. I'm really working on wishful thinking here LOL.
Besides, there is more stuff to do in the smaller town I moved from than this area. There are more malls, more theaters, the beach, some touristy stuff and our friends are there. I could also hit up EC with some friends from time to time and he could have a boys night playing video games. I know I always complained about being bored when I lived there, but goodness there is even less here! I would miss Hastings (a lot) but really that is all we have/do here.
I am just hoping Daylan will see some logic in this and will start putting resumes out in FL. I mean what is the worst that can happen? No one responds and he just finds a job here instead? It would suck, and be more expensive for both of us, but I really want him to consider it. He doesn't want me to move away, and he has said this to a few people here, so why not remedy the situation and just move with me me. It isn't like he hangs out with anyone (ever) or that he sees his family anymore (because of the drama his father started with the rumors about me). I don't see what the big deal is other than the fact that it will be a hassle to pack and move. He is already going to be driving the rental truck to FL and using his vacation pay anyways. He might as well use it to pack and then have his quit date be after that.
Of course....it would be helpful if his friends and family tried to talk him into it ;)
Monday, November 8, 2010
This is mine and I dare you to create your own.
So many people seem to always put together bucket lists or wish lists. I guess it makes sense for the wish list since Christmas is next month. People get so caught up on making that list hoping that people will get the hint and buy them those things. It is a nice concept, but it leads to disappointment. I won't lie, I'll make my "list" known for some people but I am not expecting people to get me anything this year (except for Daylan).
What I have been wanting to do for a while was create a vision board. A vision board can be something like a poster board, a push-pin board or anything of that nature where you tape/pin/glue pictures of what you want in your life to this board. The theory behind this is that if you see a picture of what you want ( ex. an engagement ring, a BMW, a particular job, etc) then you think about it all the time. If you think about it in a positive manner and believe that you can have it, then you will begin to get it. It uses the law of attraction. If you want to meet a friend who can be your partner in crime (without the actual crime), then you think about this person. You say you are worthy of this person. You imagine the things that you and this new best friend could do with you. You envision great conversations, road trips and everything that you like. By thinking positive things, then you are acting as a magnet and attracting what you want towards you. Of course you have to actually work towards it, but the vision board is suppose to be a guide.
It sounds really "new age" and whatnot but it really isn't. I read this book called The Secret by Rhonda Brynes, which is in the "new age" section, but it isn't all about that. It is a self-help book. There is some aspects of religion and karma but it isn't overpowering, which was so refreshing for me. I read that book cover to cover within a couple of days.
Anyways, here are examples of what will be on my vision board. Of course I can't post everything because this blog will be far too long, but I think that this is a good idea for everyone.
I want that storybook wedding. My first marriage was done in a court house and it was so restricted. Only give people were allowed to come. Tom got to have his parents and his brother and I had my parents. My best friend (who was supposed to be my maid of honor) couldn't come. I felt heartbroken. We always said we would go and have a ceremony afterward but it never happened. I don't think having a glass carriage is my thing, but I do want a beautiful wedding.
I want my own house that I bought. Having a husband help sure would be helpful but I do want a house that won't be taken away if something happens. I know I don't want a two story house (because I don't want to burden anyone with taking furniture up stairs). Having a circular driveway would be convenient because I don't want to constantly have to move cars. Also I want a mini driveway on the side of the garage just in case. I do want a three car garage. This house isn't my ideal house but it is pretty close. I am still working on how I want the house to look on the inside, but you get the idea.
I want another cat. The breed isn't a big deal to me, but I do tend to like calicoes. However this one kitten is melting my heart just by looking at it. I can already tell I will have issues with lots of fur but it could be completely worth it. If I had a boy, I would name him Starscream. I haven't decided with a girl. :) I have a cat, but I told Daylan that I will get another when I am in Florida.
I want to travel! The places on that suitcase would be neat, but I want more out of the norm places. I want Kenya, Easter Island, Ireland, Australia, Poland, Greece etc. I think traveling makes people more well-rounded. Not only is a vacation, but you get to see how other people live. It teaches you culture. It helps you to appreciate what you have and gives you insight on what you want. I think everyone should be able to have the opportunity to travel.
This is the wedding band that I want. Nothing more, nothing less. I found it at Gordon's but things happened and we had to postpone the purchase. I believe this was a 4mm ring and it has six diamonds bezelled into the band. I believe it was a total weight of 3/4 carats. It's been months since I got the exact details.
Anyways, this is just a taste. You don't have to sit and explain exactly why you want what you want, but this gives you an idea as to what to do. It isn't a materialistic wish list because there are some things that people aren't going to be able to find pictures for (which you can just draw the words in). The vision board is to be placed where it will be seen everyday and acknowledged. The owner of the vision board has to say what they want with confidence and with positive affirmations. "I want this. I will have this. I deserve this and I deserve nothing less." If you want that car, imagine yourself sitting in the car and do the motions. Grab the imaginary steering wheel. If you want the dress, then try it on and strut. Get the image of what the dress looked like on you in your head till the opportunity arises (you never know when you will get a holiday bonus at work). Imagine a boss calling you to say you go the job that you have always wanted. "I want it. I will have it. I deserve it."
I believe everyone deserves what they want and what harm will it cause? You will at least have fun with it.
What I have been wanting to do for a while was create a vision board. A vision board can be something like a poster board, a push-pin board or anything of that nature where you tape/pin/glue pictures of what you want in your life to this board. The theory behind this is that if you see a picture of what you want ( ex. an engagement ring, a BMW, a particular job, etc) then you think about it all the time. If you think about it in a positive manner and believe that you can have it, then you will begin to get it. It uses the law of attraction. If you want to meet a friend who can be your partner in crime (without the actual crime), then you think about this person. You say you are worthy of this person. You imagine the things that you and this new best friend could do with you. You envision great conversations, road trips and everything that you like. By thinking positive things, then you are acting as a magnet and attracting what you want towards you. Of course you have to actually work towards it, but the vision board is suppose to be a guide.
It sounds really "new age" and whatnot but it really isn't. I read this book called The Secret by Rhonda Brynes, which is in the "new age" section, but it isn't all about that. It is a self-help book. There is some aspects of religion and karma but it isn't overpowering, which was so refreshing for me. I read that book cover to cover within a couple of days.
Anyways, here are examples of what will be on my vision board. Of course I can't post everything because this blog will be far too long, but I think that this is a good idea for everyone.
I want another cat. The breed isn't a big deal to me, but I do tend to like calicoes. However this one kitten is melting my heart just by looking at it. I can already tell I will have issues with lots of fur but it could be completely worth it. If I had a boy, I would name him Starscream. I haven't decided with a girl. :) I have a cat, but I told Daylan that I will get another when I am in Florida.
I want to travel! The places on that suitcase would be neat, but I want more out of the norm places. I want Kenya, Easter Island, Ireland, Australia, Poland, Greece etc. I think traveling makes people more well-rounded. Not only is a vacation, but you get to see how other people live. It teaches you culture. It helps you to appreciate what you have and gives you insight on what you want. I think everyone should be able to have the opportunity to travel.
Anyways, this is just a taste. You don't have to sit and explain exactly why you want what you want, but this gives you an idea as to what to do. It isn't a materialistic wish list because there are some things that people aren't going to be able to find pictures for (which you can just draw the words in). The vision board is to be placed where it will be seen everyday and acknowledged. The owner of the vision board has to say what they want with confidence and with positive affirmations. "I want this. I will have this. I deserve this and I deserve nothing less." If you want that car, imagine yourself sitting in the car and do the motions. Grab the imaginary steering wheel. If you want the dress, then try it on and strut. Get the image of what the dress looked like on you in your head till the opportunity arises (you never know when you will get a holiday bonus at work). Imagine a boss calling you to say you go the job that you have always wanted. "I want it. I will have it. I deserve it."
I believe everyone deserves what they want and what harm will it cause? You will at least have fun with it.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I wish I could drop the weight
Back when I was 20, I had a normal body for a girl that age. I still had a wide waist but at least I had a flat stomach. I have the average body of a mother my age, but it still drives me crazy that I can not get rid of this stomach. Whatever happened to it going away after Gabriel was born? Oh that's right, my abdominal muscles are stretched.
I've certainly been doing better about eating healthier. I know that I should do portion controlling when I cook and that I shouldn't eat past a certain time but I don't see that being a huge factor. I stopped cooking with the nasty Hamburger Helper garbage months ago and started cooking my own main dishes. Daylan is finally on board with buying fresh vegetables for our sides. Of course our money is going faster since meat and produce can't ever have coupons. My coupons haven't been used as often because I am trying to stay away from processed foods. There is so much unnecessary stuff in that kind of things. I do try to substitute milk for water in cooking/baking and adding more cheese to stuff but it hasn't been helping too much. It also doesn't help that I am constantly hungry. We are trying to not buy everything in the store because groceries tend to be $70 a week (now that I am trying to buy fresh stuff) and we don't have room to be storing stuff.
I really should get back into walking. I stopped a month ago because of my ankle. When I thought it was getting better, it really wasn't. However the pain hasn't been an issue for the past two weeks. The ankle brace has been off and the weather is so much more suitable for being outside. I just don't have the motivation. I was doing a lot of walking back in September because I was going through a lot of emotional stuff. I really distanced myself from Daylan and he wasn't listening to what I said I needed. I did a lot of talking on the phone. Since I pace when I talk, I just decided to be on the phone and do laps on the road that loops past the house. Now things have calmed down and things are back to normal so I don't have as much of a need to be on the phone.
I wish I could get Daylan to be more interactive with me when it comes to this. It would be great if I had the support but he always complains about walking. He could stand to lose 10-20lbs too. He is starting to look too much like his dad and his midsection is not leaving a lot to be desired. When he comes home, he wants to play video games. He promised me that he would not play from 11am-10pm but that promise lasted three days before he was back to his old habits. It would be great if I had the support of Daylan when it came to at least being more physically active and simply walk with me. If he could do that (and not talk about Sonic or video games), then this could be a great thing for us.
I'm ready to have a flatter stomach. I'm ready to not worry about t-shirts clinging too tightly around my stomach or looking too wide in dresses. I'm ready for my jeans to fit again and for my thighs to decrease in diameter. My main concern is my waist. I'm also ready to be able to wear something sexy that fits. If I get a corset or anything of that nature to fit my bust then it is too big in the waist. If I get something to fit the waist, then it is too small in the bust. You would think that this wouldn't be a problem. Yes my stomach protrudes and I look like I am 17 weeks pregnant. Gabriel's aunt is that far along and she is as big as I am. I am tired of looking pregnant because my abdominal muscles are stretched. I don't want to have a tummy tuck be my only option. I also have that wide waist that makes me look like a boy from the front (if you can get past the breasts). My narrow hips don't help so I clearly don't have that hour glass shape. From the bust to the waist to the hips is literally a straight line.
If I had base access, I could go to the gym for free but gym memberships are expensive. Oh why must they be expensive? Granted I know the answer but it doesn't help my cause. I have been wanting to get either the P90X or the Insanity work-out dvds but there is no way I am spending $120 plus shipping and handling for it. I had the opportunity of getting the P90X for $35 here and Daylan promised me he would buy it for me as a "welcome home" gift but he never did. So far, no one is selling either on Craigslist and I don't have the money to go and buy it. It would be nice if I had the support of him doing it with me, but we would have to reorganize the house so we could do it together. I know I'll fail if I try to do it on my own.
Something needs to be done. Trying to eat healthy isn't helping. I want to drop 10-15lbs. I want to be careful just how I lose it because, to be honest, I am vain and I don't want to lose my breasts. Because I have a wide waist, narrow hips and a small butt, it is the only thing that gives me that womanly figure. I'll be devastated if I lose my cup size. Another thing I am worried about is if I do get to lose 15lbs, none of my jeans will fit. I don't have the money to get new clothes (especially since I have not bought a single article of clothing since March of this year). I will just have to deal because if I can look better, then we will get me new clothes.
I've certainly been doing better about eating healthier. I know that I should do portion controlling when I cook and that I shouldn't eat past a certain time but I don't see that being a huge factor. I stopped cooking with the nasty Hamburger Helper garbage months ago and started cooking my own main dishes. Daylan is finally on board with buying fresh vegetables for our sides. Of course our money is going faster since meat and produce can't ever have coupons. My coupons haven't been used as often because I am trying to stay away from processed foods. There is so much unnecessary stuff in that kind of things. I do try to substitute milk for water in cooking/baking and adding more cheese to stuff but it hasn't been helping too much. It also doesn't help that I am constantly hungry. We are trying to not buy everything in the store because groceries tend to be $70 a week (now that I am trying to buy fresh stuff) and we don't have room to be storing stuff.
I really should get back into walking. I stopped a month ago because of my ankle. When I thought it was getting better, it really wasn't. However the pain hasn't been an issue for the past two weeks. The ankle brace has been off and the weather is so much more suitable for being outside. I just don't have the motivation. I was doing a lot of walking back in September because I was going through a lot of emotional stuff. I really distanced myself from Daylan and he wasn't listening to what I said I needed. I did a lot of talking on the phone. Since I pace when I talk, I just decided to be on the phone and do laps on the road that loops past the house. Now things have calmed down and things are back to normal so I don't have as much of a need to be on the phone.
I wish I could get Daylan to be more interactive with me when it comes to this. It would be great if I had the support but he always complains about walking. He could stand to lose 10-20lbs too. He is starting to look too much like his dad and his midsection is not leaving a lot to be desired. When he comes home, he wants to play video games. He promised me that he would not play from 11am-10pm but that promise lasted three days before he was back to his old habits. It would be great if I had the support of Daylan when it came to at least being more physically active and simply walk with me. If he could do that (and not talk about Sonic or video games), then this could be a great thing for us.
I'm ready to have a flatter stomach. I'm ready to not worry about t-shirts clinging too tightly around my stomach or looking too wide in dresses. I'm ready for my jeans to fit again and for my thighs to decrease in diameter. My main concern is my waist. I'm also ready to be able to wear something sexy that fits. If I get a corset or anything of that nature to fit my bust then it is too big in the waist. If I get something to fit the waist, then it is too small in the bust. You would think that this wouldn't be a problem. Yes my stomach protrudes and I look like I am 17 weeks pregnant. Gabriel's aunt is that far along and she is as big as I am. I am tired of looking pregnant because my abdominal muscles are stretched. I don't want to have a tummy tuck be my only option. I also have that wide waist that makes me look like a boy from the front (if you can get past the breasts). My narrow hips don't help so I clearly don't have that hour glass shape. From the bust to the waist to the hips is literally a straight line.
If I had base access, I could go to the gym for free but gym memberships are expensive. Oh why must they be expensive? Granted I know the answer but it doesn't help my cause. I have been wanting to get either the P90X or the Insanity work-out dvds but there is no way I am spending $120 plus shipping and handling for it. I had the opportunity of getting the P90X for $35 here and Daylan promised me he would buy it for me as a "welcome home" gift but he never did. So far, no one is selling either on Craigslist and I don't have the money to go and buy it. It would be nice if I had the support of him doing it with me, but we would have to reorganize the house so we could do it together. I know I'll fail if I try to do it on my own.
Something needs to be done. Trying to eat healthy isn't helping. I want to drop 10-15lbs. I want to be careful just how I lose it because, to be honest, I am vain and I don't want to lose my breasts. Because I have a wide waist, narrow hips and a small butt, it is the only thing that gives me that womanly figure. I'll be devastated if I lose my cup size. Another thing I am worried about is if I do get to lose 15lbs, none of my jeans will fit. I don't have the money to get new clothes (especially since I have not bought a single article of clothing since March of this year). I will just have to deal because if I can look better, then we will get me new clothes.
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