Discretion is advised...and recommended

Facebook is the cause of a lot of bad things in this world. While I partake in the whole status update thing, I don't feel the need to air my dirty laundry or post my every move. "I'm about to take a shower". "Man, I'm out of toilet paper, do I shake?" " Where does belly button lint come from?" These are not the kinds of things that I want to be reading. It's funny but I really don't want to read about such issues that they are having. I also don't want to read about how their boyfriend was so drunk that he made out with his friend's girlfriend, how you just got in a fight with your best friend, how woke up to your period or how bad your "silent but deadly" fart smelled.  Not everything is worth being said. I will post random things and I will post something funny but you will rarely see me post anything really personal in my life. I rarely post about Gabriel or Daylan. I usually don't go into rants about a certain topic. I will post something for a discussion. I also don't like having fights where people can see it. It drives me crazy when people will use my posts or my wall as the location for their epic battle.

Yes, this is funny but this is just an example of how nothing seems to be private anymore. I would have just deleted the first comment the guy made and called it a day. Their stupidity is my entertainment, but I really don't think a fight over their sexual history is something that needs to be posted all over facebook. The fact that they are probably seventeen year olds really is besides the point. Facebook really just needs an "I Don't Care" button.

It's all starting to catch up now...

Ok everyone, I'm not even 30 yet so I know I'm not old but I certainly am starting to feel it. My 28th birthday is in June and I haven't actually had a birthday celebration in years. It hasn't bothered me, at all really, but it does raise a few red flags in my head that hey I'm heading closer to that direction of "old". Here are some things that I have been noticing.

1. Working longer shifts is killing me. I am use to my back hurting. It's been hurting since I was pregnant. Maybe my spine has been out of line or something but I've just learned to take an aspirin and the pain goes away. However it makes me feel older than I am when I start wobbling or walking funny because my whole body hurts. I sit down for twenty minutes when I get home and my whole body is stiff. It hurts something awful. A good nights rest doesn't help because I am still stiff in the morning.
2. My hands are starting to hurt again. Maybe I have a mild form of arthritis? It was really bad the last time I worked at Sonic. My knuckles got swollen and I couldn't use my hands, literally, for a whole month. It didn't help that my power steering went out so Daylan had to drive me everywhere, open all the doors for me (like a gentleman should be doing anyway), open stuff for me (cans, doors, zippers, the button for my pants/shirts etc). It ended up going away. I'm noticing that my hands are hurting every day at Cheddars, but I realize that it has to do with working with the ice scoop and filling the ice bins. Still, I'm not even 28 yet. Why are my knuckles, and sometimes wrists, hurting everyday?
3. Six hours of sleep just doesn't cut it anymore. Shoot, eight hours sometimes isn't enough. Nine is about right. Any more than that and I'll be groggy. Whatever happened to the days when I could function, properly, with five hours of sleep? Now if I get less than eight, I feel like I am going to die and that I will fall asleep walking.
4. Yes, I've found three stray gray hairs since I've been in Texas. What garbage is that?!? I shouldn't be getting those till I'm closer to my 50's.
5. Wrinkles. Once again, I shouldn't be getting crow's feet around my eyes till I'm closer to my 50's. Not only that, I don't tan. I wear sunscreen. I don't smoke anymore (July 24th will be two years) and I barely drink anymore. I just know my mom hasn't been aging gracefully but I shouldn't be starting this young.
6. Apparently there is language and slang that is just beyond me now. "Text spelling" has always annoyed me, because if you can't take the time to type out what you are saying in proper spelling and grammar then don't bother typing it. Now there is a new slang and I'm often asking the younger kids at work (and facebook) what something means. Why do I even bother?
7. I haven't been to a club in years. The thought of doing it now makes me groan. I use to LOVE going to clubs, drinking and dancing. How many years ago did I stop going and when did I start to hate it? 
8. Shows like Jersey Shore, which is popular with the younger crowd, gives me a headache. I just turn that garbage off.
9. Drinking, even once or twice a month (if that) is getting to be difficult for me now. If I am drinking a shot, my goodness I gag. I even get "hangovers" now. Not traditional hangovers, mind you, but hangovers none the less. When I was 21, I could drink to the point of puking, drink some more and still wake up fine. A little groggy but fine. Now if I have a few glasses of wine or beer, I wake up with a headache.
10. Now that I am mentioning wine, when the hell did I start to enjoy that? For years I couldn't stand it. I still can't stand merlot, but I can drink some wine now. I even have a beer I love now (Shiners). 
11. I'm in that in-between stage of clothes. I don't want to have my butt hanging out, my stomach showing or my boobs out, so I am outgrown that stage. I'm also not into middle aged clothes either. I wear a lot of solid color elbow length shirts with tank tops under it. My wardrobe use to be bold and exciting. Now it's bright and colorful but still boring. I also don't want to spend $5000 on a whole new wardrobe that is more age appropriate because, frankly, I don't have that kind of money to blow on clothes.
12. Overhearing people at work talk about how they smoke pot in their downtime just annoys the crap out of me. 

Yeah, I'm just getting old.

Minor accomplishments

So I finally was able to do a makeup look the other day. I didn't spend five or six hours on it like the professionals did, but I did spend two hours on it. It wasn't all that bad considering I didn't have professional makeup products, brushes or software to make me look like Katy Perry. With all things considered, I think I did a bang up job.

I couldn't use my white face paint so I just used my normal foundation. I just had to photoshop my skin to be a whiter color, which gave the photo a weird and fake quality to it, but you do what you gotta do, right? Also, had I had paints and stencils, I could have made the look more like it should have. Either way, I am proud of how it looks. The first photo is the only one I've edited so far. The rest are straight out of the camera. Eventually I will edit them.

Katy Perry on the left and myself on the right.

I plan on editing something cool in my palm, like a light or something since I am supposed to be an alien. Don't aliens have magical powers?

This look was my least favorite out of the three that she did, but it was the one that I wanted to do first. It was supposed to be the most intricate and I wanted to prove that I could, in fact, do it with cheaper stuff. I did extend the blue and pink more across my cheeks, but they are there on her face. I just didn't pay attention to proportion. And I must admit, I think my lips look so much better than hers. Just saying.

I also went to Walgreens today. Daylan didn't want me to go. "You don't need any of it!" In fact, I would disagree. I'd much rather have a "stock pile" of stuff that I know I would use (at a good price) so I can already have it. What happens if one of us loses their job? I've already been on that train and I got off. I don't want to be there again. I'd much rather have the stuff I need, right now, then to worry about it later. You never know!

Two transactions at Walgreens. Spent: $63.25 and saved $90.19. I saved 70% of my total. I saved more than I spent (and more than I ever have before!)

My first transaction was everything that had register rewards points, so I used them all (but I miscalculated so I still have a $2RR.) The second transaction was everything with my RR.

**EVERYTHING I BOUGHT I WILL USE. I DON'T JUST BUY BRANDS I DON'T EVER PLAN ON USING. 75% OF THIS WAS ALREADY ON SALE. THE OTHER 25% HAD RR ON THEM. I HAD COUPONS FOR EVERYTHING IN THIS PHOTO.

~The pads and tampons were on sale for $6.99 with a $2RR on each. I had two $2 coupons and two $1 coupons.
~The cokes were 2 for $3 I had two coupons for the cokes which made them $.25 a piece.
~Pantene was two for $7 with RR and I had a $2 coupon.
~The razor was $9.99 but I had a $5 coupon. I spent $4.99 on the razor and got $4RR.
~Oil of Olay body was was B1G1 50% off, and I had a $2 coupon. It was on sale for $4.99.
~ I had special coupons for all of Daylan's body washes and deodorants. BOGOs and $1 off stuff. That's why he has five body washes and two things of deodorant.
~$3 off of Secret Clinical, $2 off Secret Minerals, $1 off the body spray and they were on a special. The clinical and the spray were B1G1 50% off.
~$5.99 the box of tide and I had a $1 coupon.
~$3.99 for the Tide Stain Release with $1 coupon.
~Downy Fabric Softener was on sale for $3.99 with a $1 coupon
~ The Aleve was $6.79 but I had two $2 off internet coupons and two $3 store coupons so each bottle was $1.79.
~The SOS was the only thing I paid full price for.

It's still not a 95% savings and it still isn't spending $9 but it's getting better. Most of those coupons I got in Sunday's paper. I doubt this paper will have as many coupons that I will use, but you never know. Of course I wouldn't have saved as much if I did one single transaction. I had a cashier (and assistant manager) that were dealing with just myself. Everyone else was in the front cashing out. No, I wasn't in trouble. I was helping the cashier get points because I happened to get a lot of items from three particular isles. It didn't benefit me but I figured why not let it benefit her? They were patient with me. They let me do the first transaction so I could use all the register reward coupons for the second transaction. Because of that, I saved much more. Maybe I should have kept track of exactly how much. When I was doing this online, it was about $17 in RR. I'm assuming that it was the same as it was happening.

Not bad since I am still a beginner. At least Daylan won't stink LOL! He has five bottles of body wash and two new sticks of deodorant. Besides, right now he is passed out. I gave him one of my sleeping pills two hours ago and he's been snoring a lot since. He works 6am-2 and 7pm-1am. He needs his sleep so while he is sleeping, I'm updating my stuff.

I should follow his lead. It's 12:30 am. I finally got out of the habit of not being up till 3 or 4am so I should take a sleeping pill. I do have to wake up around around 8:30 for my double at work. I hope I make more money than I've been making lately. So to all, good night.

I need more books like this.

I've been reading this book off an on for about two weeks and I find it to be fascinating. It's Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Daylan's cousin didn't like it so she gave it to me. I don't read as often as I should, but I bring it to work so I have something to read when I am on break. Having read The Secret by Rhonda Brynes and loving it, it's not a huge shocker that this book is sucking me in as well.

I haven't seen the movie yet, but for those who have no idea what I am talking about, here is a brief synopsis. Liz had a house, a good job and a husband but she was a control freak who was having a bunch of panic attacks. Essentially she was in a deep depression. There were lots of little reasons why she wasn't happy in her marriage and she ultimately was wanting to find God (for the first time in her life). She ended her marriage, which didn't go so well, and wrapped herself up in a guy (during the divorce) where it was an on again, off again thing. She ends up spending a year abroad; four months in Italy for pleasure, four months in India for devotion/meditation and a four months in Indonesia for balance. Oddly enough, the whole section about meditation was the most interesting part of the whole book.

Books like this seem to calm me down. Maybe that is why I seem to be in a good mood at work. People tell me I am so sweet and always so happy, but deep down I have wondered why I haven't lost my temper yet. I have a problem with my temper. My fuse is always so short. I wonder if the reason why I just don't care (which ultimately has me in a peppy state of mind and snap at someone) is because I hadn't worked in a year, because of the book I am reading, because I am OUT of the house and actually talking to real people (since I pretty much was holed up in this house for 10 months with no one to talk to but people on Facebook) or because I am getting older. Maybe it's a combination of the four. Whatever it is, it's working for me. It's not helping me get higher tips, but it's helping me.

Tips are still touch and go here. I didn't make crap today but all my tables were tipping me well tonight (even though I messed up an entire order). My mood didn't change all day. It's a mystery to me. I don't know how this whole thing works. I don't understand how some people can be really cheap and others clearly aren't. If I didn't buy ties from my job and buy lunch, I would have came home with $75 for a double. Is it sad that the highlight of my day was buying two ties for work for $5? It made me deliriously happy. Maybe it's the couponer in me because a tie at Ross would go for $9 for a single solid colored tie and I bought two for $5 through the restaurant. Hey, I'm all for a good deal.

I need to find a book about couponing :). I still have yet to get a 95% savings or get products for free. I also don't have the time, the space or the newspaper inserts to be doing all of this. Still, a book would help. Instead, I'll re-watch Extreme Couponing again as I go to sleep. I'm exhausted, but I'm hoping that either I dream about awesome deals, or I learn something in my sleep....almost like "osmosis". LOL. Hey, I'll take whatever I can get these days.

We should have got married today/yesterday (April 5th)

Today should have been my wedding day to Daylan. I thought about that off and on today. I would have been in a white dress saying my vows and I would be on my honeymoon as I write this (on my period). Before I go into my day, I want to go over a brief response as to how we are doing.

We haven't discussed what happened last night. He's just laughing it off. I'm not as jubilant as he is about it but I'm not as angry as I was last night. I still don't think we are where we should be for us to get married. It's not that I'm unhappy, but we definitely aren't where we were when I first moved here or when we first got together. It's a lot of work to maintain that level of happiness. I thought that getting a job would help, and it does to an extent, but a lot of my frustrations do come from work. I may complain for a moment, but I usually don't take that home. Any anger I have towards Daylan comes from Daylan. He hasn't grown up any. I'm trying to get into cooking, into couponing, I want to get into gardening (so we can lower our grocery bill further), I do makeup as a hobby and I am working but he hasn't progressed any. My three problems with Daylan: his video game habit, the fact that he is messy (and still thinks that he shouldn't have to help clean even though I am working just as much as him now), and the fact that he won't stop poking/pinching, grabbing etc. It's annoying and most of the time is irritates me to the point that I don't even want to look at him. "No" and "stop" doesn't register to him. He stopped trying to have sex, and right now that is what I need. It hasn't been making me happy so not having to say no isn't giving me any emotional discomfort.

I want us to do more together. All we do is watch tv together. We don't have deep conversations (although we talk and laugh), we don't read together, go for walks together, hang out with friends, play board games,work out together, shoot we rarely leave the house together. There aren't little road trips close by. We don't go exploring. There are pottery stuff here. Painting. I'm sure there are even paint ball fields. He loves first person shooter games so surely he has to be interested in paintball. I just can't ever get him to want to do anything at all. He is pretty much my only friend here and I want to be able to do something from time to time. Surely he has stuff he wants to do. He has to have interests and hobbies. It just seems like video games is the only thing he is interested in. It's been a huge part of his life for so long....I don't think he even knows what he is interested in anymore. If it doesn't involve video games or tv shows, he is clueless. I really do believe that. He has no hobbies and that worries me. It's another reason why right now is not a good time to get married. I can't be the only one who has stuff I want to do or try.

We still joke around with each other and when we are driving somewhere, we have fun. In fact, we laugh more when we are on our way somewhere, like Hastings or Walgreens, then we do anywhere else. We do watch shows together and movies together, but it is not as often as it use to be. Part of that is because I am working now. We still cuddle from time to time, but it's been getting hot in the house again. If we run the A/C, our bill sky rockets, so we try to sleep with one fan on us without a blanket (or at least a single bed sheet) so cuddling is out of the question. We have basic conversations, but we don't talk about hopes, dreams or goals because it just seems that all he wants to talk about is Sonic and video games. There isn't talk of the future right now because I don't think he sees that far ahead. He says he wants to go to school as a culinary artist and study under the best so he can open his own restaurant, but I think he says it just to say it. He just wants to live there. Living in San Angelo wouldn't be horrible, since housing is cheap, but I don't know if I want to move back to San Angelo. Texas isn't the problem.

I'm just concerned about our future. What happens when I move back to Florida? What will our skype conversations be about? Sonic? Video games? Will I be the only one visiting? Is it going to be my waiting on him to come home during these visits and then watching tv or will we actually be doing stuff?

It's just not a good time for us to be married. We aren't in a stage in our relationship where I can comfortably say that we would last forever. Let's not forget that I don't know where this money would be coming from. The money I'm making is going towards my moving back, finding a place to stay in FL, getting what I owe paid off and hopefully having some left over money just in case. Who knows when he will be managing Mr. T's. This process is taking forever. I think they are still negotiating prices, and that has been going on since...Christmas? Who knows. Until he starts working there, he can't put money away. Yes, he will save money when I move (no groceries which are $70 a week) but he will also be buying video games more since I won't be around to say no. Money for a wedding definitely is an issue because I want an actual wedding.

Gosh, so much needs to be fixed with us. It's not just him but so much basic work needs to be done on us so we can get back to that lovey dovey place we once were.

Bring on the distractions to prevent me from being homicidal

The evening didn't turn out how I had thought it would. I finally snapped (again) when Daylan started to play on his xbox again. I work 40 hours a week, so you would think that whenever he is home without me that he would just go ahead and get it out of his system then and spend time with me when I am home. Instead he plays when I am at home. I just sit in bed on facebook because clearly I'm not going to get any interaction from him. He already played twice today, or was it three times, before I flipped out.

Marcus sent a text and I sent one back saying Daylan was grounded. I did laugh about it at first because I thought it was funny that I sent it to begin with but then I stood in front of the tv. When he started to get irritated with me that I was in the way, I turned the tv off. He turned it back on and I threw the remote. It didn't hit the tv but at that point in time, it wouldn't have mattered if it did. It ended up just hitting the PS3, which he never uses. I was actually aiming for his xbox 360 which is his pride and joy. That stupid box is his true love. He jumps on whenever Marcus wants to play so the 360 is his wife, Marcus is his mistress and I am simply the bed warmer. He wonders why I never want to have sex anymore. Well, actually there are a lot of reason why I don't want to have sex anymore but him wanting to play online with Marcus rather than spending time with me surely doesn't get the juices flowing. He didn't even want to watch a cool music video with me when I asked him to. It wouldn't have killed him to sit with me for three minutes to watch what I asked him to watch. Not even a few minutes later, he runs back into the living room to log on and play with Marcus.

What I do know is that I debunked my theory that my aim is impeccable when I am mad. Normally I hit my target no matter how far away it is. My arm is lethal but I actually missed tonight. I missed my intended target.

Needless to say, that was an hour ago and he just came in the bedroom. I didn't look up from the computer screen and he didn't look at me. He took his cell phone charger to the living room so he could sleep on the couch. Had he tried to get into bed or tell me to move to the other side, I would have told him he could sleep on the fucking couch. Apparently he read my mind when I threw the remote.

Now I am just trying to distract myself so I can calm down and go to sleep. I ended up watching the video again. It's Katy Perry's music video for "E.T." Here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Sd5c4o9UM I think it is amazing. I've always liked Katy Perry and thought she was beautiful. She does a modern spin of a 50's pin-up girl (as a lot of artists have, such as Christina Aguilera-whom I also like) and looks beautiful. She makes me jealous. In this video, she also makes "weird" look hot. The music reminds me a lot of taTu which is a Russian duo, but I loved the sound anyway. The video was just amazing. The special effects were realistic. The movement and gestures were so fluid. The makeup obviously was phenomenal. It made me want to get back into doing what I do because these three looks obviously are my style. It's what I am most comfortable doing.

This is the second alien look. She seems to wear this one the longest in the video.

A close up on the second look so you can see the details on the forehead.

The look on the left is my favorite. It's the third one she used. The look on the right is her first look. Dude the hair is so wicked!!!

I want to do replications for all three of these looks, but I'm not sure how I will do the detailing on the forehead from look number two. That is my only reservation. I can do everything else. From what I read, each look took about five to six hours and that is completely believable. Some of the looks I've done have taken me two hours. Here is a tutorial that Amber Nicole sent to me. It's a tutorial on how to do the third look but I don't have two wigs. It's much more simple than the video, but it still looks phenomenal. It's supposed to be more like deer spots than squares but oh well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEwPlcW8JqY&feature=feedu This one is better.This one was better. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XMvVSS56pQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7i532FVq8s Here is another tutorial for the second makeup look. The lighting is horrible so it's hard to see exactly what she is doing but her finished look looked more like Katy's then the others so I am posting this one. This one works as well. The lighting is far better so you can see exactly what was done to get Katy's look. Of course no one is matching up to the expertise of Katy's professional makeup artist, so it doesn't give me any hope that I will even make it look presentable, but it won't stop me from trying. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueT40Fmuldw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8adiXWAahs&feature=watch_response Technically I don't need a tutorial on how to do the very first makeup look Katy does, but I figured I might as well not be biased and just post one so others could see exactly how it was done.  The main reason I love this look so much is this was the only look that moved. It was originally larger on her face but when she transformed from her alien being into her more human-esque being, the design shrunk. She transforms a lot and this is where the other makeup looks came from.

Sorry about all the links. I threw them in there haphazardly because I didn't want all the links to be bunched up together.

I also found a new look I want to do to my hair. I've been itching to bleach it and put a wild color in it again. It's been almost three years. It's the part of me that want to be younger, sexier and edgier again because of pictures I've seen of Azrael Adore and Dawn Avril. I was watching some Avril Lavigne videos, mostly  because her single "What The Hell" was stuck in my head and I noticed her hair. I don't like her as a bleach blonde, and never have, but this time I really loved her hair. So now I want to do this look:

This second picture proves that she can make this look glam. The first photo isn't be best but others had shown pink on the underside of her hair, which I don't want. Normally I don't like asymmetrical looks but I think it's cute. Another thing I like about it is the pink peaks out of her hair color and pretty much is just her face framing layer/bangs. It's not all on top since there clearly are some blonde covering it. Now obviously I could do pink again. Maybe purple again as well. I have been having dreams of pink hair lately. I can always just alternate between manic panic shades.

Ok, so now (two hours later) it is almost 2am so I really should take a sleeping pill and knock my butt out. Hopefully Daylan still wakes me up at 8:30 or 9am. I will seriously kick his ass till it breaks if he doesn't.

Fruit of my labor

I got my butt kicked at work today during both shifts. Seriously kicked. There weren't many moments when I wasn't busy. To top it off, I had a 12 top during the first shift. If I didn't grat them, I wouldn't have made any money. At least I got $20 with the grat. I also had a four top that Sarah, the manager, discounted completely because it was a previous employee and it was a birthday. I didn't know that, but they still tipped me $20 for the four of them. That rocked my socks off. If it weren't for them, and the grat, I would have left with $60 for a double and I would have been furious.

The second shift was busier than the first. Most of my tables had alcohol. Due to popular belief, alcohol sales decrease my tips. It takes so long to make each drink and there are often many who are in front of me so it takes a while for me to get the drinks to my tables. Because of that, my tips typically suck. In a sense, I don't blame them, but it isn't like I am slacking. I'm just hoping to NOT make multiple trips and just bring everything at once.

Either way, I made $103 (or was it $109?). Since I started working there, three weeks ago, I've made $903 in tips. Of course I spent $30 on the two primers I bought but still. I work a double tomorrow so I am hoping to walk out with another hundred which would put me at a grand in tips, not to mention my paycheck. We are going to put it in Daylan's account so that he can transfer it to my account. I can get my phone turned back on and get the car payments going again. I trust my money in a bank. It's not that I don't trust it in the house because Daylan won't touch it, but you never know. Someone could break in and then I'd be down a grand.

I'm still undecided if I am going to continue to pick up shifts at work. I'm working quite a few nights so the shifts I pick up would have to be morning shifts, and those typically aren't worth coming in. Yes, it's thirty dollars more than I had coming in, but I've just been frustrated with the process. Since my last post, things have been improving. I've been leaving with at least $50 which is an average shift there. It's still sad that $50 is average for a shift.

I literally have sore from head to toe. If I had something other than a standard tub, I would have been soaking in it. I don't so I won't even both trying to indulge myself. What I really wanted was to rescue some beers out of the prison that would have been my fridge but I can't indulge in that either. This job makes me want to drink more. Oh well. I can't play a hero tonight.

It is 1:30am and I have to sleep. My alarm is set for 9. It gives me time to cruise on facebook, eat and get my makeup on. I have to be more rested tonight than I was last night. One more double and then I get to enjoy the one day off I get each week. Yay for Mondays!