Doubles are killing me.

Working doubles tends to be overly exhausting. I'm getting to be the age to where I just can't seem to do it anymore. I spend the entire day at the restaurant and I really don't make that much money because of it. I work for the rush, but then they cut me. I still have to take an hour to clean my section, do my side work and cash myself out. I take a long break, two hours but sometimes four hours, just to work for the dinner pop to do it again. I am having to do my section all over again, do more side work and cash myself out. By the end of it, I've been at work from 11am-10pm but was only waiting tables for four or five hours. The last few doubles (with the exception of Tuesday where I made $78 for a double) I've only made $40. 

That is not worth being at work for my entire day. 

I get home and it takes me a while to wind down. I'll be up really late at night just waiting. I don't want to take sleeping pills all the time. In fact I have stopped the past few weeks because I didn't want to deal with it again. I need to start taking them so I can get back into a more stable sleeping habit. I still wake up feeling exhausted. 

With that said, I am thinking about not working doubles anymore with the exception of maybe one day a week. There would have to be two days a week I would have to close because Daylan closes but the rest of the week he works mids. I would just have to work single day shifts. None of these long breaks, no taking two hours to do side work twice a day. I'd actually sleep normal hours and I'd have time to do so many other things!

My house is a mess. It is messy and it smells because when I am off work, I don't want to do anything. My days off I do laundry and do my shopping, but that's it. I have to have down time to sit and relax. We spend money on movies that we can't watch. I can only print coupon early in the morning and late at night around my work schedule. I have to plan my shopping trips late at night when I am off work. Makeup has taken the back  burner because I am too tired to do anything. Besides, it takes time to apply the makeup and then take pictures. Whenever I do it, it takes days for me to edit the photos just to post them. I don't even know when the last time I cooked was. I'm sure I could go through the album and see since I post pictures of everything I cook. Like I said, my house is horrible. Horrible is an under statement.

Oh, lets not forget that I have to get rides home from work four out of my five days a week. Daylan said "Keep an open schedule; we will make this work." That turned into he can't get me so I have to ask various co-workers to take me home. I live seven miles away but they swear I live in the boonies because half the drive seems to be in BFE. There aren't a lot of street signs and street lights because I live literally on the lake. I get a lot of "No" when I ask if I can get a ride home from work. It's just seven miles. Daylan is supposed to be able to take me in to work and take me home. Oh, sometimes his dad has to take me to work. If that can't happen, Daylan has to leave work to get me and then go back to work. We waste so much gas. It's unreal.

I'm just going to have to tell the managers that this is not working for me. It's not working financially and it's not working domestically. I want to be in a closing section. Put me in the two's (the box is the busiest place in the restaurant because the hostesses never forget because it's in the line of sight). I won't have closing duties so they don't have to worry about that. Hell people who have been there half the time as me are closing. If not there, put me in 54, 55 and 56 because it's next to the box and still a "closing" section. I need to have time in my day to do other things besides working. Well, not working but being in the restaurant. I wouldn't even have to eat there as much, if at all! I spend $8 everyday on lunch because I still tip $3. When you are only making $40 for an effin double, $8 is a lot of money to lose everyday.

If they aren't willing to do that, to accommodate me (especially after hiring a bunch of new people), then something has to give. I may just have to move early, even though I don't have the money to do that. I did just have to give Grammie $900. They know I am reliable. They know I am on time. I haven't called out. I have not been late once. I will do my section and do my side work. I don't just do it at the end of my shift but I keep up with it during my shift. Surely they can't say no to my request?

This is what my schedule looks like now (which is estimate because cutting time varies, I don't know how long tables will stay and I don't know how long it will take to do side work every shift:

Monday: off

Tuesday 11-3; 5-9

Wednesday: off

Thursday: 11-whenever they cut me

Friday: 11-2; 5-10

Saturday: 11-3 (usually pick up a shift so 5-10)

Sunday: 10:50-2; 5-9

This is what I hope they will let me work:

Monday: off

Tuesday 11-4

Wednesday: off

Thursday: 4-10

Friday 11-4

Saturday: 4-11

Sunday 11-4

Keep in mind, I may be cut at 4 but who knows how long till tables leave so it could be anywhere between 4:30-5. Still. That is a normal schedule and no losing money because I am on long breaks and spending more time doing side work at the end of the shift. I could make my house not smell, I could cook, I could coupon, I could do makeup, I could iron the mountain of clothes that I haven't touched in two months (no joke), and I could still relax.