Daydream

This thought pops in my head all the time. Over and over again. It isn't a bad thing. Call it vanity. Call it immaturity. Call it whatever you want, but the closest thing I can call it is a wish. I want to be able to take Daylan by the hand, with a grin, and say "Let's make them jealous." Why? Everyone. Everyone that has ever doubted us. Everyone that ever wished us unhappiness. Everyone that said they will never make it and will never amount to anything. Just everyone.

I want that perfect, story-book romance that makes everyone say "Ooooh" and "awww!". I want to be that couple body, mind and soul that makes everyone wish that they could be us. Not be us as in take one of us for their partner, but be us. I want to be Romeo and Juliet but without all the death. I want to be Rose and Jack (Titanic) without the catastrophe. Allie and Noah (The Notebook) without the memory loss. I want that Cinderella story where everything ends happily ever after.

It isn't true that true, unconditional and ever engulfing love ends in tragedy. How could it be true? If it were, then no one would get married. No one would even try. We would truly be the culture of casual sex. Well, more so than we are now. What we are now are the stupid generation that can't keep a marriage going. We would rather fight and separate than to fight to stay together. I fell into that statistic but I am learning. I went through my momentary bout where I didn't know anything but sadness and loneliness and I wanted to give up. But maturity and love don't allow people to just walk away unless they didn't have a reason to stay and fight.I want to have those moments in time where you are in a sunset and you kiss. You have a candlelit dinner and make love by the fire on the plush carpet. I want to be the couple that takes hot baths together or stares at the stars at night. Shoot, I want to be that perfect couple that does this and so much more to the point where others wish they could be us.

I want us to be at the peak of health and vitality. Hardened bodies and sweet souls. I want us to just look at each other and want it so badly :). I want us to have careers that give us everything we need and much more. Daylan and I could travel and have amazing pictures to go along with the stories of the things we did. I want us to have a beautiful family with more kids and pets. He would go crazy at the sound of pets but I swear we will have pets. Daylan and I will have a beautiful home that we could host dinner parties in. We would want to spend every waking moment with each other, even though we love having time with the friends we love. We would have amazing hobbies and things that we collect. We could go dancing, make a painting here or there, do pottery together, play games together and all those scenarios that play in my head.

Our friends will see us together and wish they could have what we have. Family will feel happy that we each found what we were looking for and all those people who doubted us will shove it. They will realize that all that bad and negative energy that pushed our way has entered their lives instead. 

We will be married soon. I don't know when but we will. Our engagement won't last forever ;). He will be a father soon. Of course I still want to wait a few more years to have my IUD taken out. Daylan and I will have a gorgeous wedding. Everything I want will happen. We will be who we want to be and in my head, that phrase will keep replaying over and over again. "Let's make them jealous" And a grin will come over my face with his hand in mine as I will say to myself, "Don't worry..."