y friend, Brandon, posted a link about how Amy Winehouse died today. Above his link was a caption "I can take sharing a needle with Amy off my list". In the comments I stated how I didn't like the artist. I didn't like her music. I also stated that I wasn't surprised that she died. Apparently that makes me a cold-hearted bitch. "It's so mean. What if it was someone you knew?"
Ok let me set the record straight. I can one up this bullshit on "What if it was someone you knew?" and say that it was someone like...oh me! However I cleaned up my act. Eight years ago I stopped messing with ecstacy, crystal meth and cocaine when my boyfriend at the time and I split up. I realized it wasn't a good path to be on. If I could deviate of that particular sober path than anyone can. Hell, Amy even had money for rehabs, she just never stuck with it. I was lucky that I wasn't addicted but it was still difficult to stop because it became my norm and it was how I remembered my ex.
Simply put, I have absolutely no sympathy for someone who willingly knows the risks and continues to gamble with their lives by taking drugs. Do as much heroin as she did and you'd be lucky to be alive. Keep uping up the doses to "chase the dragon" and eventually death will knock on your door. Am I supposed to feel bad? Hell no. Hell to the no should be more like it. It's like playing russian roulette. It's stupid and you have a good chance of killing yourself but you'd rather put the gun to your head and pull the trigger to get that high of hearing the gun click but nothing happen. I have no sympathy for stupid.
It's stupid to even try drugs. I figured that out in the long run but I was at least smart enough to get out while I could.
It's a completely different subject to feel horrible for someone who died of cancer. They got dealt a bad hand and it wasn't their fault. Ok, in very few instances it is. You don't smoke two packs a day for twenty years and then act surprised if you get lung cancer or lay out in the sun every day, except when it rains, for hours and be shocked when you have skin cancer. Those are a few occasions when I would say "What the hell were you thinking?" and be on with my day. The rest of the time I would feel complete remorse for someone in that situation. Of course cancer is just an example.
It's no shock to any of us that she died. In fact, I am surprised she lived this long. I hadn't heard from her in years since she hadn't released an album in the states or done a tour here. I just assumed she fell of the radar in a drug induced stupor. Yes, she is now a member of Club 27. It seems to be the magic number. I do feel bad for her family but that is about as much remorse as I am capable of giving given the current situation.
She didn't deserve to die. Amy should have seeked the help she needed and lived a long and fulfilling life. My life got tremendously better once I got clean. She should have had the same luck I did but she never sought to have the same kind of life. It didn't help that allegedly she also suffered from various eating disorders, alcoholism and bipolor disorder. Heroin isn't going to fix those problems. Her family doesn't deserve the heartache that she has caused. I'm sure they saw it coming but hoped that she would find her way and survive the mess she was in. She was lost and she is no longer suffering however "They tried to make me go to rehab and I said 'No!' 'No!' 'No!'
I just never liked the chick. I thought she looked like a drug addict. I thought she looked ridiculous. I didn't like how she sang nor did I like the kinds of songs she sang. I thought she was someone who got lucky and was able to fund her addiction. Screw that, she went beyond funding her addiction. A lot of my friends really liked her. It's ok. I love Lady Gaga and most of my friends don't understand why. It is what it is. I just didn't like the girl. It isn't speaking ill-will of the dead. I'm not saying how reckless she was (although she was) or how screaming cats sounded better. If this means I am a cold, heartless bitch, then by all means I will take that title with pride.
People know I am talking about the truth when it comes to this matter. I am not being malicious just because I am enjoying the sick pleasure. I just know she was too damn weak to do anything to make her situation better. She was too weak to say no to drugs and that was out of sheer stupidity. She refused to go into councelling, to leave all her old acquaintences and start over in a new area. She wasn't brave enough to do that. Her addiction was too strong. The whole world knows that inside that envelope at the Medical Examiner's office, the report will say "Cause of Death: Heroin Overdose." I am allowed to have my opinions about her because I have that right, but I also was into drugs and I escaped. If I could do it, anyone can, and I was broke! I was broke and I was broken.
Apparently I was a "shining example of the entire human race" due to my warm heart and empathy. LOL. All because I said I was not shocked that she died, I didn't like her or her work (Amy Winehouse). I know I am not alone in my opinions of her. I'll be cold-hearted all I want. If people ask for help, they will get help. Clearly we all know Amy was not about to live to see the ripe old age of 70 the way she was going.
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