I use to pride myself at thinking that I had got over my anger issues at my jobs. I've been at this place for four months and rarely have ever got mad enough to let things affect me. I'm actually one of the few people, at my job, who hasn't literally blown up at work due to what happens around me in high stress. I just happened to fail myself tonight.
Screw the restaurant. Screw what management thinks. I failed myself.
I know that teenage boys don't tip. I just didn't think that this particular table would set me off emotionally. They were so immature. They didn't even want to read the menu because they were too busy insulting each other. They would cough and say derogatory words under their breath such as "faggot", "douche", "cunt" and "asshole". Any time I would ask them something, they would suddenly laugh at me or be very snippy with me. Yes, I should have grabbed management then, but I also knew that they are in fact teenage boys. They had me running. They kept needing refills, they kept needing extra stuff and I knew that if I didn't, I wouldn't get tipped. I also had a feeling that I wouldn't get tipped anyway.
Lately I've been taking stuff really personally. I don't know what else to do. I'm not making the kind of money everyone else claims to be making. I'm usually happy. I do my side work. I do what I should be doing! How is it I work as a closer for the morning shift, work straight through without a break and still don't even make $90? Another server, who I like, made $90 just from this morning alone. A server I hate "claims" to have made $140 just last night in a two-table section. Of course I don't believe her but she bragged to everyone about it. What is it I'm not doing? No I don't sit and b.s. with my tables but that is because I'm getting their drinks, getting their food and not allowing other servers to do it for me. I want to run my own food. I'm not tardy. I'm not rude. I smile a lot. Is it that I just don't sit and b.s. with my tables? I don't have 20 minute long conversations with them? That can't possibly be it!
Anyway, I kept an eye out and watched the boys leave. The instant they left, I was on that table looking to see if they tipped me. I didn't see anything. No money on the table, in the seats, under the table and I knew a busser hadn't got to it. The boys stiffed me. They sat in my table for an hour, had me run ragged, were rude to me and they didn't even have enough common courtesy to tip me? So I followed them to their truck.
Yes, it was stupid and I could have got fired for it, but the frame of mind I was in was that I've been here working and it hasn't been paying off for me. No, I don't quit because I don't want to have to have on paper that I work at jobs for two months and leave for the "next best thing" because it doesn't sound good. It makes me sound unreliable. Here I am working for 11hrs straight with no break, no real lunch (unless you consider pop tarts and water in the cooler as lunch) and had just been stiffed by three teenage boys. It was like my self worth wasn't even enough for them to tip me. I've been noticing that. People, in general, are all smiles. They pay with large bills but don't tip worth a damn. It's like I am not worthy enough to get more than a dollar per person but they feel no remorse in taking a table for an hour, or longer. They have remorse in making me clean up the horrid mess they leave. It's like they think I make more than $2.13 an hour. It's like their tips will give me way more than half a tank of gas just to get to work. It's like they think couponing simply is a hobby.
I followed them to their truck and I asked them if the service I gave them was so horrible that they didn't even feel the need to leave a tip. Yeah, I knocked on the truck window. I was shaking the whole time because I was that furious. He said he left a tip on the credit card and yet I had JUST left the table. Where was the receipt? I didn't even have proof to show that he did or did not tip me because he didn't leave me a copy. Instead, I told him if he had a fucking problem with my service that he manager's name was Victor and they were more than welcome to march back inside and talk to him.
Sure enough, I was called into the office. I had no proof of a receipt and the ticket was left open. Victor even looked it up on the computer. So three teenage boys won.
Everyone seemed to hear about it. They were all proud of me like I was some damn hero. I stood up to cheap people for every server out there. Whatever. I just felt like I was wronged. I felt like a huge injustice had happened. Even if they did in fact tip me $4 like they claimed, how would that have helped me? $4 for three people over the course of an hour? That is $1.33 per person for an hour's worth of work. How is that even fair? How? I'm not a fucking hero; I'm just someone who got angry enough to do something about it.
It just wasn't everyone else's business to know how I was feeling during and after. It wasn't their business to ask me what happened or high five me. I don't care how "fucking bad ass" I am in their eyes. I just don't see how I can not make money but people who don't seem to care seem to make bank. Everyone seemed proud of me. People who weren't even working that night but came to visit me heard about it. They were coming up to me like I was a celebrity. I just laughed it off and did what I was supposed to do. I did my side work and I did a little extra (not much because I wanted to get out of there). I kept saying "If I was really in trouble, why would I stay as long as I did tonight?" It wasn't their business! It was my personal feelings and I didn't want everyone to know that I took the stiffing personally. I didn't want people to know the power it had over me because it would make them seem more important to me. People can bump fists with me or high five me all they want. At the end of the night, I'm still the one who feels bad because of the whole situation.
I really thought that I had got over this whole anger thing...
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