I have a fever and it reads 105

I have babies on the brain and my fever is running high. I'm not sure if it is because of the pregnant bellies my friends flaunt or the babies they have. Maybe it is because I miss Gabriel and feel that I am just failing. I want another chance, but not right this moment. I'm hoping that I will be getting a positive pregnancy test in two years, three at the most.

I told Daylan that I think I will start getting baby stuff when I am in FL. It's what I did before Gabriel. At first I was shopping for Stephanie but then I kept on buying. I stayed as neutral as I could but I got starter clothes and half of the stuff I needed. When we found out the sex, the rest of the buying went into play. I'm thinking about just doing it again because you never know what your finances will be like when it comes time to deliver the baby. You don't know if you will be able to have a baby shower so it is best to just start early and get things gradually throughout the pregnancy.

It seems like things are more expensive now than they were six years ago when I was pregnant. The only thing that I'm sure I could get cheaply (besides clothes) would be disposable diapers. I thought about doing cloth, but I don't own my own washer and dryer. I also don't know how willing I'll be to scrape poop out and have remains of poop in my washing machine. That is something I would definitely have to read more into. It is costly at first but it seems like it would be inexpensive in the long run. I'm just now sure if it would be cheaper than disposable. My facebook friend, Jen Porter, seems to have a system for getting cheap diapers. She's getting a box of 120 or so diapers for about $15. That's not bad.

• Diapers
• Clothes/PJs
• Bottles
• Breast pump
• Milk storage bags
• Blankets
• Bibs
• Crib/Bedding/Mattress/Rubber crib liner
• Stroller
• Car seat (hopefully in a set with the stroller)
• Vitamin drops
• Gas drops
• Water filter (if you are mixing formula)
• Medicine
• Shoes
• Toys
• Swing
• Baby food (unless you make your own)
• Formula
• Pacifiers
• Baby nail clippers
• Baby bath (unless you have a deep kitchen sink)
• Changing table
• High chair
• Play pen
• Baby gates
• Teething rings
• Swing (both indoor and out)
• Room decoration
• Baby shampoo
• Diaper rash cream
• Baby powder
• Diaper inserts
• Clothes detergent that is formulated for sensitive skin
• Bottle brushes
• Baby lotion
• UV screens for car windows
• Baby sling
• Nursing pillow
• Body positioning pillow for baby
• Plates/silverware
• Bottle warmer
• Portable bottle warmer
• Baby book
• Diaper bag
• Bumbo baby seat
• Diaper wipes
• Nursing blanket
• Diaper genie (unless you do cloth diapers)
• Crib mobile
• Itzbeen baby care timer

God, if you only have a few months to prepare and get what you need this would be overwhelming. I was able to get what I needed before hand and both sets of grandparents got the major stuff but I would feel better if I was able to get this stuff along the way before I try to conceive. How could this be a bad idea? If all else fails, they would be great baby shower gifts since people only buy baby clothes at these showers.

So I guess I'll be saving for a wedding, a house, baby stuff and then trying to pad my savings account again. Oh boy. Maybe it's a good thing I don't have an immediate time line. Two years for a baby, a year on a wedding......Oh boy. Crap!