It's interesting when you get to take a look inside someone's life. You never know who they really are until you do :) I discovered the secret lives of two of my facebook friends. In my head, I heard a lot of my other friends booing the pictures, the videos and the blogs that I found. They would not be looked upon in a nice manner, but I saw nothing wrong with it! To each their own. They are doing what they like and they seem to be making good money from it. It actually made me a bit jealous because I wished that my tummy was as flat as theirs, and one is a mother! It did make me realize that I've really been letting myself go so I should start making a few changes.
I need to actually do myself up more often. I feel good when I have my hair done and makeup on. I've just been going around the house with no makeup on, my hair in a ponytail and in pj's because I only get to leave the house once a week. No, that isn't an exaggeration. I need to still do my normal routine because it may pep up my mood. I'm no longer hormonal. I also need to keep up with walking but ad a few more things to my workout routine. Do some push-ups, some squats and sit-ups. Crunches don't do anything for me. Technically sit-ups don't either (I use my back muscles more than my ab muscles so my back always hurts more than normal) but I don't know how to make crunches or sit-ups work for me. Oh well, I might as well do them. I will definitely feel better about myself if I can get back into my old clothes.
I hope in the process of getting my old body back that I don't lose the breasts I got from having Gabriel. Yes, I'm vain. Shut it.
I've been thinking about doing a somewhat vegetarian diet. I'm not talking about going in 100%, but I do want to have meat only a few days a week. It's actually called a Flexitarian. I use to be one in Florida because I could go days without eating meat but since moving here, I've consumed more meat. I'm sure that with the lack of walking is what helped me gain the weight and the stomach. The main issue isn't that my stomach is huge. What it is is the fact that my pregnancy has messed up my abdominal muscles. They never healed right because my uterus grew to house an almost 10lb baby. They are stretched out. I also have excess skin on my stomach. Who knows if this diet will help with that, or if surgery is the only option, but it couldn't hurt to cut meat out. Daylan will never be on board (completely) but it couldn't hurt to at least try to cut down my meat consumption by half. Since it is halfway between being a omnivore and a herbivore, I will have to buy different types of beans. I need them anyway to make a jambalaya.
I've been doing some thinking about what I want to do about myself. I do like the person I have evolved to, but I still miss some aspects of who I use to be. I want to mix the wisdom with that feeling of being carefree. I want to be young(er), healthier, more fun and still be who I am now. I don't want to do anything that would compromise who I am now, but there is always room for improvement no matter who the person is or what stage of their lives they are in.
I figure I could put darker streaks in my hair so it doesn't look so bland. May help make my hair look thicker. I want to be able to experiment with my style the way I use to in high school. I didn't have a set genre. I would be a "goth", then a skater, then the next day I'd be in a skirt and then back into my preppy clothes. I wore whatever I wanted because I was young and no one would judge me. I've been in a wardrobe crisis because I'm in between stages. I'm not in old people clothes yet but I'm not in club wear anymore. I like the style that Clinton and Stacy put people in for What Not To Wear but I wish I could get back into that goth/anime clothes. I want to be able to wear stuff from Hot Topic without getting weird looks. Yes, I'm a mother and I am 27 but I'm not dead. I'm also just wanting to have hints of it in my attire. I also want some 50's inspired outfits. Maybe I'll get my nose done again, but I'd have a hard time getting a job. Maybe I really will get my smily done. I also want to be able to go out every once in a while. Do the club thing with some girlfriends so I can dance the night away. This won't happen all the time, but I do want to be able to leave the house or go to some concerts the way I use to. I never went often but I liked it when I did go. It wouldn't hurt to really go and try new hobbies. Maybe take up pole dancing lessons.
Speaking of, I wouldn't mind getting back into my more sexier side. I use to wear lingerie. I use to wear nice outfits. I use to love being in just my bra and underwear, if that. I once even went on dates....with Daylan. Well, they weren't even dates but we still did stuff other than the video store and the grocery store. None of that really happens anymore. He never leaves the house so I stopped wearing makeup. I lost my body image so I stopped wearing sexy stuff. We stopped going places. I miss the sexy side of me. It's time to get back to the person I use to be while still being the person I am now.
After all, who says we can't have our cake and eat it too?
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