All around disappointing day

Sorry for the blue mood but it just seems as though I can't catch a break. The only good thing to happen is that Dennis is going to look at an apartment for me tomorrow, but there is a good possibility that they won't rent to me since I still don't have a job in Florida. At least someone answered their phone and is willing to make an appointment for someone else since I told them that I am still currently residing in Texas.

Turns out that Daylan didn't get the job in Colorado and that upsets me to no end. I'm both angry and extremely sad about it. From what Daylan said to me, they said he didn't have the years of experience that they were looking for. How can that be when he's been an assistant manager for four years? He has the experience to where training him would be easy! Why pay for the tickets to fly him to Colorado and spend the money needed to put him in a hotel if they knew this? They had his resume and they saw that he was an assistant manager. Why would the head hauncho tell Daylan to tell me to start looking for apartments there? Even Cory said that this was a done deal! I even put my two week notice in today before I left work.

I was really looking forward to going to Colorado when things were said and done in Florida. I don't want to think of the possibility of coming back to San Angleo. I don't see his family often because there is always something going on so the only good thing about San Angelo is Tricia. I don't want to leave her and I'll miss her dearly but the majority of my friends are back at home. Everything I know is there and I need to be home for a little while before I have to venture somewhere else. I don't want to come back here. Texas isn't the problem but there isn't anything in San Angelo for me. I just spend my time stuck in the house like I did before. At least I can get out and work.

I was looking forward to cooler temperatures, more stuff to do, places to go and better job opportunities. Now I just have to look forward to coming back to this shit hole and as it is standing, I'm not even sure I'll be coming back.

Daylan just tried to get me to have sex again. He pulled out the massage lotion, my anal plug (yes I know, TMI) and my rabbit right as I told him I was going to put more applications in and that he should do the same. He followed me into the bedroom thinking I was joking.

What part of my not wanting to have sex does he not get? Oh and no we haven't had the talk yet. We were working separate shifts over the weekend. Monday was spent trying to get the house in order so his dad could come and fix our toilet but he didn't show up. We both worked today but then his dad came to do the toilet (which is finally working). Daylan wanted to watch Little Fockers and he wanted to sit behind me but he kept trying to put his hands on my breasts instead of just over my chest so I kept moving his hands, which made him mad. "They are mine and I am allowed to touch them." Um, last I checked, they were a part of MY body and if I don't want them touched, then they will not be touched. Fuck this "Possession is 9/10th of the law" nonsense. It's my damn tits and they are 100% of my possession. You didn't buy them (they are real) so they are not yours.

So now I am back here putting online applications in crying because I am just so damned frustrated. To make it worse, Daylan posted garbage last night with "Seriously? This is why I play so many video games." Tonight he posts ".....what is the point in even trying????" Why is he even posting this where everyone can see it?!? I don't even do that.

I asked him to start looking for jobs in Florida because I've already moved for him. I was even getting ready for another move for him. It's time for him to move for me. I do not like it here and it's brought me so much unhappiness because I'm so far away from everyone. I don't even want to go to Grammie's house to pick up coupons alone because she wants to talk forever and she is nosey. I am not a family oriented person. The only friend I hang out with is Tricia and that is because she is closer to my age, she isn't into partying, she is the most like me at work and because everyone else seems...fake. There just aren't a lot of things about this place that bring any kind of happiness out of me.

He always says he will look but after one day of "looking" he says "There aren't any jobs in Florida" and then he stops. I'm not even expecting him to even try to look because he has no interest in going back to Florida. Fuck him. Right now I am so angry at him and about the whole Colorado situation. Supposedly they have something else to offer him, but it's not a GM position. They may offer him another assistant manager position but the pay won't be worth moving. There isnt' a chance of him moving up here. There are three managers ahead of him in his store alone and there are four stores in the city. He's been there two years and he still HAS NOT been getting his bonus checks. There is no chance of us getting better if he stays with the company in San Angelo.

So back to doing online applications.